She's A....
2003-01-23 - 1:59 p.m.
So why is my motto for this year "Pimp It"?
My heart is closing. I swear I can feel it. It's still pumping blood but emotions are becoming restricted. I'm beginning to not care about other people's feelings. I'm beginning to think of my own satisfaction only and only (yes, I said only and only...that's the only way I know how to verbalize it right now). I don't want to be a bitch. I never have been. But the idea of it is becoming more and more appealing to me everyday. Why? Because I'm starting not to care. What's making me feel like not caring? I really can't explain because I don't really know.
I feel weird. I mean I know I'm weird myself but I've never felt weird. I don't want to be who some others are. I don't want to have anyone's characteristics but my own. So, what's going on here? I'm not modeling myself after anyone, don't get me wrong. It's just that I feel myself picking up traits from others that I don't want in myself.
I think I just confused my own self.
Byebye.