10-13-03
2003-10-13 - 9:17 a.m.
10-13-03
LOL @ me thinking I would have enough time to sit down and work on a new layout so that this morning, I could relaunch mzkzmylyf.diaryland.com "That's right! This is MY damn diary..." as mzkzmylyf.diaryland.com "Starting Monday...".
Unfortunately, the layout ain't up. I don't even have an idea of what I want to do. I'll think of something. It might not be up until next month or something. But the feeling is here as of today. That's enough for me.
And when I say "new layout", I ain't talkin' 'bout all the other places to go up on my site. No, no, no. I don't have a Gold Membership and I don't plan on getting one anytime soon. All I'm sayin' is I'ma throw up a new picture on this piece. You want links and all'a that? Stop by and see this living young lady.
Now, on to "Starting Monday...".
Everything I ever want to do, I always say, "Starting Monday, I'ma..." For example: "Starting Monday, I'ma get on the treadmill for an hour everyday." Or, "Starting Monday, I'ma stop eating fast food." Or, "Starting Monday, I'ma do research on grad school." Or, "Starting Monday, I'ma be more blunt(honest) with people."
Well, today is Monday (let it go down in history - 10/13/03). This is the Monday I've been talkin' about for the longest.
It ain't no special meaning to this date. I'm not too much a fan of the month of October. It just ain't nothin' spectacular about it to me. The only thing goin' on is Halloween and that's waaaay on the last day of the month. That used to make me happy when I was a youngin' and the streets was somewhat aiight to trick or treat my way through. But since it's so dangerous out there nowadays, I tend to stay my butt on home... But that's neither here nor there.
Like I said, today is the Monday I've been going on and on about all these years. LOL! Starting Monday, this Monday, I'ma do me. Period. I'ma do what I need to do to take care of me physically. I'ma do what I need to do to take care of me mentally. I'ma do what I need to do to take care of me spiritually. I'ma do what I gotta do to take care of me, period.
Ain't nobody else can and, most of all, CAN'T nobody else, do it for me.
So, today I restart. I could never say this is about to be a new existence. To me, that's like saying I'm leaving behind all of the experiences that I've had that have made me who I am today. I don't want to ever forget anything that is behind me. However, today, I am making an effort to say that I will no longer dwell on what cannot be changed. Starting Monday, this Monday, today, I want to revamp myself. I want to step into this next phase refreshed and renewed.
How do I plan on doing this?
First of all, I'ma start taking one day at a time. I'm always looking into the future. Always preparing for tomorrow. Always missing what's going on today 'cause I'm tryin' to be a step ahead of the game. The game is a day-at-a-time process. I'm talkin' about life. I can't live for tomorrow anymore. Gotta start working on today.
I'm gonna really put in a concerted effort to get the body I want. I'm not that far away. The end is always the most difficult. But for me to give up now? Ridicumalous. I'm not setting a dated goal. If I'm one pound or inch less than what I wanted to be by that date, I'ma get discouraged. So now, I'm just going to work towards getting to where I want to be. Period. I'll get there soon enough, I'm sure.
Starting today, I'm gonna research this whole grad school thing and get going with applying and making plans as far as attending.
I'm going to be more productive at work. I waste time because I'm allowed to. That doesn't help me and it surely doesn't help my employer. This could affect my posting consistency. If so, then so be it. I'll be sad, but I'll get over it. *catching that tear before it hits the ground...yeah, right*
This was designated as the year for me to "just be happy". So far, it's been going very well. What I want to remember is that the year is not over. Even when it does end, my life is still not over. My responsibility to myself is to allow myself to be happy. I'm going to rededicate myself to that. No more holding back myself for the benefit of others. Me first. Me, me, me! Why? 'Cause I can't really do nothing good for nobody else if I ain't satisfied with what I'm doing for me.
I would like to reintroduce myself here at mzkzmylyf.diaryland.com. How do I want to do that? Hmmm... I don't know. I'll think of something.
But for now, I'm "Starting MOnday...10/13/03".
"Don't ENDURE. ENJOY."