2003-12-22 - 8:26 a.m.

Good Monday Morning Diary.

Yes, I'm finally back at work, for real this time. LOL.

It's cool though, 'cause I ain't got but three days this week to work. So it won't be so bad. I'm just feeling like I'm ready for a change of scenery as far as work is concerned. I just want to pay off as many bills as I can before I call myself making any kind of decisions.

I love Celine Dion's version of "So This is Christmas". I just love Celine Dion, period.

Anyway, not much time to chit-chat today. I'll just get down to what's on my mind.

The "seeing people from my past" thing has continued full-force. It's really amazing. Half of the people, I've spoken them up. You know how you mention someone and then they pop up a short while later? Well, that's the way it's been.

And the biggest surprise of them all...

DSG. Yeah, from waaaay back. LOL. I really did speak him into existence. I think I said his name about three times last week and I even looked at a picture of he and I together.

I saw him this past April at a party. Hadn't spoken to or seen him since around the same time the year before. I mean, he lives in New York now. Has been for the past few years. So, it was a shock when he called me last night. He's in town for the holidays.

Wanted me to come hang out with him at a club, no less. I said, "I have to be up for work at 6 in the morning." This fool gon' tell me, "Okay. Just bring your work clothes." LOL! Yeah, he crazy like that.

I don't understand why the males I deal with in my life, when I'm over and done with them, have to reappear. Like "Yo, did you not get the memo? I am over you. It has taken me a lottle bit of time and effort to get over you. Please let me revel in my over-you-ness. Please don't 'cause my hard work to have been in vain. Thank You. Sincerely, J."

And he would pop up around a time like this. A time when I (yes me, J) am feeling a tiny-teeny-eeny bit lonely. Just a teeny-eeny-tiny bit. Not much! Just a teeny. Just a eeny-teeny-tiny bit.

Okay! Okay! I'm lonely! (LOL! *doin' the long-faced sob* LOL!!!!!!!) Not much though. It's just the "holiday lonelies" that have hit me. And really, they didn't hit me, Diary. They were thrown at me by Miss Pooh who kept going on and on about the fact that she didn't have anybody for the holidays. I really didn't realize I didn't have anybody until she asked me and then tried to convince me that it's lonely without someone for the holidays. Especially Christmas Night.

Yes, I was walking around in a fog, not even realizing that Christmas Night exists. You know what Christmas Night is. You spend all day with your family but then Christmas Night comes and you get kinda lonely. Yeah. I had forgotten about that part of Christmas.

But I'll be okay. Sleep will take me away 'cause I have to work the next morning. So whatever! LOL.

I'm a soldier, remember?!?!

But for real, I'ma be okay. Life is too short to be dwelling on things I don't have. I probably don't have those things for a reason or they will be coming to me soon so I just need to apply patience. What God has for me, it is for me. I don't want anything that I'm not supposed to have. Period.

My Sunday School teacher keeps saying, "Sometimes, you need to thank God for not giving you what you prayed so hard for." Meaning, you look back on it and realize that what you prayed so hard for was the worst thing that could have happened to you, that's why you didn't get it.

And I recently read a quote that went something like, "That which you desire with all of your being will slip through your fingers." It was made by some philosopher. I agree with it though, 'cause it's so true.

Anyway. I would love to sit and chat a bit longer wit-cha but I do have oodles of work to do. I wanted to leave you with some more Tweet but I've been hit with the Christmas spirit. So:

"Hear the snow crunch, see the kids bunch, this is Santa's big scene. And above all this bussle you'll hear...why don't you sing it for me fellas?! 'Silver Bells (silver bells). Silver Bells (silver bells). It's Christmastime in the city. Ohhh, ring-aling (ring-aling). Hear them ring (hear them ring). Soon it will be Christmas Day." - A Few Good Men, "Silver Bells" Ooooohhhh I love that version!!!!

antes - despues