"And a SUNNY day!"
2003-11-20 - 8:10 a.m.
Let me tell you something Diary: "Thank GOD for my sanity!"
Lord, Lord, Lord. I may have one or two marbles missin', I ain't ee-en gon' lie. But the majority of them suckas, I got. And I'ma hold on to 'em real tight. Can't have my marbles rolling all over the street. Can't have it. *bending down to snatch up the one that just fell*
I am SO serious though! I am just so thankful that I can cope with some crazy situations and come out good. I been through some thangs in this here life too. That ain't NO lie. But I came through it all. Very few times was I even at the corner of Breakdown Street and Loony Ave. Very few.
And now I am SURE that unless it's something I've done TO MYSELF, then I won't be catchin' no kinda buses or Metrorails to take me back to that corner. I REFUSE to give someone else the means by which to transport me back to anywhere near Breakdown Street and Loony Ave. I absolutely REFUSE. And I mean it.
People walkin' round here goin' crazy (and I mean CRAZY) over niggas/chicks that ain't neva gon' be good to or FOR them, family that they know is toxic, jobs/paths that they can't stand but are there to impress/appease other people... Nope, nope, nope. Won't be me. Not Miss J. Not this female right here.
So I thank God from whom all blessings flow and from whence cometh my strength and my mental health that he has made me strong and helped me to truly believe that if I make it to the joy that comes in the morningtime, then everything will truly be alright.
In my mind, I have a vision of JC Chasez strapped to that bed in the N'Sync "I Drive Myself Crazy" video talkin' 'bout some "Crazy, CRAAAZY YEAH!" *shudders*
I'm sure I used this lyric before but shoot, Tweet really did say it best:
"No more breathing down my back, not too sure how to act, or even waiting for you to say 'I Love You'. I'll kiss myself and say a prayer and fill the void you left when you were here. LOVING ME MEANS MORE THAN LOSING YOU. [Actually it] feels just like Heaven..." - Tweet, "Heaven"