Sketched Love.
2003-10-08 - 3:55 p.m.
Before I get into this big rant here, let me drop a lil' something Ma said the other day.
Setting: The Den
Action Taking Place: Mama checking her e-mail.
Mama (reading the title of some spam): "P-----, lose 50 pounds by February." Goodness! I mean, really! How these people know I'm fat too?!
*I'm still laughing about that mess!*
Alright. To the rant:
Am I wrong for not being able to stand the lovey-dovey type? I mean really. My face is all screwed up after reading a haiku somebody wrote for their "baby". (Maybe the underlying issue here is my dislike of haikus. Well, whatever.)
I mean, I want to be in love as much as the next person (well maybe not as much...but i do want to be in love...one day anyway.) but really. Can we just be in love? Do we really have to lose our minds and get all sappy and all that crap?!
Ugh! I have a bitter taste in my mouth after reading what I just read. And it's not that I'm a love-hater. I don't need a glass of water today to chase the hate away. I'm not tryin' to act all hard and ish. I just can't stand all that "let me write a haiku to prove how much I love you" crap that some people bring to being in love.
And I don't know why it bothers me so much when people over-profess their love. I can't stand to hear somebody continuously say, "I love you. You are my world, my sunshine. The sight of you makes my heart soar. You are perfection personified." and all that foolishness.
In my mind, I'm thinking, who are you trying to convince? The other person or yourself?!
I think it's my personality. I'm a factual kind of person. To convince me, you need to provide hard, cold evidence. Period.
When someone cares about me, I'd rather them show me in some way. Show me that you love me so much that you're thinking about me for no reason. I don't necessarily mean unexpected flowers or jewelry (although those are nice to receive...). I mean that you're thinking so hard you have to doodle a picture of me or something.
I'm not a wordy person when it comes to dealing with others in that way. I express my feelings through my actions. I show you how much I care via my stare. When I touch your cheek, you can feel how much emotion I have in my heart for you.
I don't mind saying, "I love you" or hearing it every once in a while. Maybe once a day. On a good day, everytime we part or hang up. But don't walk in the door talkin' 'bout, "Hey boo. I love you. You are my diamond. My precious love." 'cause I might show you right back out the door you just walked in.
I know, I know! I'm a hypocrite. Maybe I just don't like to hear all that crap.
Show me, nigga. Without words. Words are cheap to me. Even if you do tell me, "I love you" when we gettin' ready to hang up. If you haven't shown me anything that supports your claim, best believe I got it in my mind that you don't know what you talkin' 'bout. Show and prove. Show and prove.
And especially don't be runnin' to tell nobody else how much you love me hopin' I'll find out what you said to them about me. Maybe they'll come back and tell me. Maybe you'll come back and tell me what you told them. I don't care about that crap. If you ain't proved it to me, you wastin' everybody's time.
That's why I get disgusted when a nigga I just met starts talkin' all that "I feel like you're the one" foolishness. Nigga, you don't know me! How the hell you feelin' somethin' for somebody you don't even know? That leads me to believe that you feel any random female you meet is "the one", not just me. I can't trust what has no basis. You talkin' to me for five minutes does not give you enough evidence that I am "the one" unless the good Lord saw fit to stamp "The One for _______" on my forehead right before we met. Far as I know, ain't nothin' been written across my brow.
A situation like that makes me feel like you are forcing your feelings more than them coming naturally. In the end, that will hurt me the most. And I ain't the one to be hurt, in case you prematurely discarded the memo.
And I had all these views before I got into my current frame of mind, tyvm. Always have had them. I've seen too many people believe that someone loves them because that person told them they loved them more than showed their love. In most of those cases, the person who believed that mess was the one who ended up hurt.
I need evidence so that, if I am ever asked, "How do you know he loves you?", I won't be the one standing up there talkin' 'bout some, "'Cause he told me he did."
R. Kelly told the world that wasn't him on that tape but that nice little view of his face when he was adjusting the camera to get that perfect angle proved otherwise.
Okay, maybe that ain't the best example since he's been forgiven by society. But at least it gets my point across.
I guess the overall theme of this rant is, "Don't write me no damn lil' elementary school haiku (that you ain't even doing right, btw) to try to tell me you love me. Just draw me a f'n picture!" LOL!!!!