2003-09-25 - 12:51 p.m.

I have VIVID dreams that I can almost completely remember when I wake up. All of my life that I've slept normally (I say that because I didn't regularly sleep for almost two of my toddler years), I've had extremely vivid dreams, almost to the point where I felt I could physically feel what was happening. I even learned early on how to wake myself up from within a dream.

I say alllll of that because I really wonder if dreams can be interpreted. No matter what happens in my dreams, I can trace it back to something that happened in my waking hours. Either I saw something, heard something, spoke to someone...something. So is there really a message coming through the dream or is it that my mind is just creating scenarios around the "something"s I encounter while I'm awake?

The other night, I got left behind at the train station because I thought I was at the very beginning of the line when I was actually at the absolute end of the line. I wasn't by myself though. But we never would have known if not for this fine light-skinted man with red eyes who was late and didn't know the train had left either.

Now the interpretation of that dream is that I'm being left behind in life. I've missed or am about to miss a big opportunity.

When I first found that out, I was all upset. "What am I missing?!" I just hate to be left out of anything. LOL.

Then I thought back on that day. There's a railroad right at my job. When I got to work that day, all of the trees and everything around the tracks had been removed and the tracks themselves were being worked on. So that, to me, explained the whole train thing in my dream. Which in turn made me kinda doubt the interpretation...

But then, in my dreams, I always clearly see people I've never seen or find myself in situations I've never been in before in life. And after I see the people or exist in the situations in my dream, I see the people and experience the situations in real life. (One example: I had a dream about a lady introducing my mother, aunt and I to her boyfriend. I had never seen either of them before or the house we were in. Soon after that dream, a cousin I had never known about died and we went to her home. As we were sitting in her living room, a lady related to the cousin introduced us to her boyfriend. It was the house, the lady and the man from my dream.)

So I don't know if I should or shouldn't believe the interpretations because the dreams always prepare me for something that's about to happen in my life...

I think I don't want to believe them because my mother told me that my dream meant that I was letting a good man pass by or that I would let a good man get away. Being that there is no man in my life right now that I care to have, I don't feel like hearing her telling me I'm letting somebody get away because I know that I'm gonna try to reexamine these dudes and make the bad qualities good just so I make sure I don't miss out on an opportunity.

I'm just going to see what happens...

I was sitting, thinking about times when God has just brightened my whole day...

There was one day in my sophomore year of college. I was kinda depressed because, on a campus full of rich kids with benzes and hummers (yes, hummers...with an "s"), I had no car, period. I was stuck catching the Metrorail, hitching rides and taking the campus shuttle to get around.

This period of time was during the early stages of my relationship with God. (Remember, I had just let him in the year before.)

So, I'm walking around campus, head down, gloomy day. I said, "Lord, I just want to have a car that's mine. That I can use to go where I want with. That just belongs to me." I got over most of my mood by the afternoon though. I just didn't have time to sulk.

After my classes were done and I had finished for the day at work, I went back to the University Center to hang with a friend. We noticed a big ole setup on the big campus lawn. So, we headed over to see what was up. There was a tent there for Ford Focus, which had just come out.

You could sign up to test drive a Focus. So, I said to myself, "What the hey. It can't hurt." And I signed up. After waiting a lil' bit of time, it was my turn. By then, the person who came with me had to leave, so I was by myself.

There was a guy who was gonna ride in the car with me as the rep for Ford. He walked up to me, said "hey" and everything and then, without me saying anything, he said to me, "This is your car for right now. It belongs to you. Wherever you want to go (within a mile radius, of course), you can go. I'm just here for the ride."

There is no way he could know why I had the expression that was on my face.

As we were riding around, I was called out by some girls I knew. He told me to invite them along for the ride. They were hungry so they wanted to go across the street (which is really across a street and then across a major highway) to get something to eat. I asked if it was okay and he let me know that we weren't supposed to go but since it was "my car", I could go where I wanted.

I drove that car like it was made for me. And, no lie, as I was driving, the sun started to come out from behind the clouds... Talk about surreal!

After returning the car, I called my mother to tell her what happened. It actually brought tears to my eyes!

He always tries to show me that he's listening. Always.

And I'm so glad that I got to the point where I can hear him loud and clear.

Speaking of hearing, it's beautiful to hear Luther say,

"I pray for her even more than me.

I pray for her even more than me..."

Hmmm...

antes - despues