2003-09-16 - 2:15 p.m.

In all the years since Grandaddy passed, I never thought about him being in my life as much as I did on yesterday. That was my daddy, man! For real. I never looked at it that way until yesterday. That's what made it so hard for me. I've decided to do something that's going to remind me of him for as long as I live, which has made me feel a lot better.

Listen to your body. I'm not saying obsess over little aches and pains. What I am saying is to pay attention to what your body is saying to you. Take observations over time. It could save you a lot of problems and sickness in the end.

My hurr is did! Whoo! Yes!! My scalp is itching LIKE CRAZY like it always does right after I get it done but I'll be alright. I'm just glad to not have to work with my own hair for a while. It's such a relief.

I went to a cousin's party on Saturday night. It's funny because even though I'm from Miami, born and raised amidst all the different ghetto areas, hardly ever been anywhere else in the country, much less the world, people can never tell that I'm from here. Many don't even believe me when I tell them. Not until I let them know, anyways. Even Tha Guhlz forget my background. I took two of them with me. And where they looked shocked and amazed, I was entertained and unfazed. It was one of the better times I've had in the past few months, for real.

And it was another restful Sunday. I kept waking up in short intervals from 7:19am to 9:16am and then I got up for real at around 11am. Stayed up 'till about 1pm. Took a nap 'till 3pm. Did some running around. Went into deep hibernation (a combination of thoughts of Grandaddy and anxiety about what I thought was going to be a Monday morning job review) at 6pm.

Returned to life at 6:20am on Monday morning. I'm still waiting on that job review, btw...

I'm just so ready to get back into school. I need that busy-ness that being a full-time student brings. And the freedom! Oh Lord! LOL! The FREEDOM! I remember the days I woke up at 9am... I could do what I wanted to between classes, go where I wanted. If I didn't feel like going to class, I could snuggle up under the covers and still pass...

Now, I gotta make sure I'm here sometime around 7:30am. Can't leave 'till 4:15pm. If I take off a day, that's money I won't be getting... I can't take this life! LOL!

But I damn sure will continue to do so because my bills stay paid!

I heard it on the radio yesterday. Still has the same effect:

"Care for me, care for me

You said you'd care for me

There for me, there for me

Said you'd be there for me

Cry for me, cry for me

You said you'd cry for me

Give to me, give to me

Why won't you live for me?"

antes - despues