I'm Feelin' Sweet & Low...
2003-09-05 - 2:16 p.m.
Be forewarned (yeah, another warning. No, this is not becoming a trend for me. At least I hope it's not...): I started out only posting the Friday Five. In the midst of my answering the questions, I looked at someone else's post for today (or yesterday - one of these days) and decided to do me a little something, hence the "P.S.". The official post for today is everything above the "P.S.". So, if you can't stand my randomness...I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO TELL YOU 'CAUSE I ALREADY DONE SAID THAT THIS IS MY DAMN DIARY. LOL!
1. What housekeeping chore(s) do you hate doing the most?
Hands down, it would have to be taking out the trash! I cannot stand the thought of touching garbage. It makes me feel sick just think about it (just like it makes me sick just to think about...naw, I'll leave it alone.).
2. Are there any that you like or don't mind doing?
I don't mind doing the bathroom because I like to feel like I'm cleansing myself in a clean bathroom. It's the getting around to doing it that's the issue. I enjoy doing laundry too.
3. Do you have a routine throughout the week or just clean as it's needed?
Not during no week, no. I usually do things on the weekends but still not every weekend.
4. Do you have any odd cleaning/housekeeping quirks or rules?
It's not really odd (to me anyways) but I like to be the first one to utilize whatever it was that was just cleaned. For example, nobody bet not go into that bathroom right after I cleaned it but me. I want my butt to be the one to first touch that shining seat.
5. What was the last thing you cleaned?
The entire bathroom.
I figured let me post this Friday Five just to get something up here. I'm harassing certain people to post when I ain't even doing it myself. LOL.
I keep drinking this caffeinated coffee even though it makes me completely jumpy. My thighs are trembling right now...(Hey! Get ya mind out the gutta...I wish it was for that reason though.) But I needed it...
Nothing really went on with my life this week. For real. The only thing I can really remember is that each day has seen me encounter something that takes my mind away from Broken Promises at a time when I believed I would be thinking about him every free second of my day. Like this second...and this second...and this second. But moving on...
As much as I want braids, it's in my mind to just let my hair hang out. Everyone that I encounter is looking at my head and half of those people comment on how they love the way my natural hair looks. I'm just so stuck on thinking that long, straight hair is IT, so I want some braids to hang down my back. I'm just gonna get braids one more time (yeah, I'ma punk! AND?!) and then, I'll probably loc it up.
I said nothing was going on in my life but keep reading anyway! LOL.
Hopefully, this weekend will be entertaining overall. I really enjoyed the rest and relaxation of last week but that just ain't me. I need ACTION. Pha-real. We'll see what happens. No matter what, at least I'll have something to write about come Monday...
And for once, Dylan had something to say that made sense! Get upset about what? He still ain't redeem himself though. And Fred gon' show ya'll how raggedy Miami niggas can be next week...
Enjoy yaselves.
P.S. (This is the aforementioned "P.S." section): I was inspired to put up the lyrics to a song that I felt was written for me (yes, JUST ME! LOL!) to identify with. I actually believe that whoever wrote it thought of me, said, "Let me sit down and write this letter so J can send it to that nigga." So, here goes:
"No Way" - Faith Evans
"You promised not to let me down. You promised that you'd be around. You said I'd never hurt again. Me believe you? There's no way. You promised that you'd hold my hand. You promised that you'd be my man. I need for you to understand: For me to trust in you? There's no way.
Boy you know...hmmm. You'll stay, you'll leave. You're full of empty promises that never came to be. And baby you say our love was built to last. Not a love like this. I need someone to count on, not just now and then. But baby you said...
You promised not to let me down. You promised that you'd be around. You said I'd never hurt again. Me believe you? There's no way. You promised that you'd hold my hand. You promised that you'd be my man. I need for you to understand: For me to trust in you? There's no way.
Boy you know...hmmm...that it's best for me. You sweared to make it better, babe, but I can't believe. 'Cause I've heard it all before. It's in the past, must look ahead. I thought that I was loving you but I'm hurt instead. Oh you...
You promised not to let me down. You promised that you'd be around. You said I'd never hurt again. Me believe you? There's no way. You promised that you'd hold my hand. You promised that you'd be my man. I need for you to understand: For me to trust in you? There's no way.
Every tear I've cried, everytime you've lied, and everytime you broke my heart... Now I'm going on 'till the pain is gone... I'm waiting for the pain to go away. Away.
You promised me...YOU PROMISED ME...never to leave me...
Baby no way.
You promised me...YOU PROMISED ME...never to leave me...
Baby, no way."
Yeah. I listen to that to help me remember why I should not waste my time mourning over that "love lost". That nigga PROMISED me and did not deliver. I won't even say "nigga" in regards to him because he's just who he is, a man. A man that only offered me Broken Promises. And I accepted them not knowing that they were already broken even before I took them into my heart. And like a disease, a virus, those promises are what broke the heart they went into. Mine. My little, vulnerable heart...
But it's all good now, 'cause what doesn't kill you definitely makes you stronger.
And I'm just seeing that I've been bitter about it for oh, say a year and some months(!!!), which I'm disappointed in myself for. And DAMN, that's a long time (ESPECIALLY FOR ME!!!). But the bitterness is virtually gone now. That place in my heart is not naturally sweetened right at this moment. I'm using the same Sweet & Low (busy life) that I've started using to sweeten that caffeinated coffee (memories of him) I drink. No, it's not the regular white sugar (those broken promises). I can't afford the problems that I could encounter as a result of indulging in that refined sugar (in those broken promises). I'll always remember that real sugar taste (what I believed to be) though; probably will always crave it. But I know the Sweet & Low (occupied time) is better for me and I'm getting used to that saccharine taste.
And ya know what?
It really ain't all that bad.