Confirmation
2003-08-18 - 3:37 p.m.
I missed Sunday School yesterday morning. Woke up at 8:08 am, knowing that I should get up but remembering that I hadn't even gone to sleep until 4:25am only to be woken up with a call at 4:47am after being up since 6:20am (my body is way too on schedule - why am I waking up like I gotta go to work on a Saturday morning?!). So, I decided to get just 5 more minutes of sleep. 5 more minutes turned into basically two more hours. Sunday School had been in effect for 45 minutes by the time I woke up. Woulda been over by the time I got there. So, I just stayed in my bed a little while longer until I got up and went to get some breakfast para mi y mi madre.
I really wanted to go too. I haven't been in about a month. It refreshes me to hear Sister Sarah explain something I never even considered before, to hear her break down words that are thousands of years old into terms and situations that I can apply to myself today...
There's a mosquitoe under my desk. He must be Superman 'cause mosquitoes can't usually function, much less survive, in the sub-zero temperatures in my office. But it shouldn't surprise me. There's sugar in my blood. Always has been. Anywhere I am, a mosquitoe will do his damn best to be. While everybody else is relaxing, I'm getting bitten up. They usually leave me alone after about 7 bites. (Yeah, I was exaggerating about the temperature in my office but I'm sure as hell not exaggerating about the number of bites I usually get. I'm counting two in the last 5 minutes...)
Saturday evening I had dinner with a former best friend. Me and homegirl were close for about two years. For real. I don't know what happened and she never did tell me, even though I asked. I guess she just didn't want to fix it.
There was another girl who got up in the middle of that friendship. Momma warned me about that girl but I didn't take heed. She was the one who organized the little get-together. I knew it was gonna be her, The Ragger (the girl who is always worried about my damn business) and me. Because of her ways, I just wasn't surprised that the former best friend showed up too.
I just enjoyed myself just how I would any other night. No need for me to sit there and sulk. The whole thing was years ago anyway. It just amazed me to see that no matter how "far" some people come, they're still the same as they were before. The Ragger was the one all in shock. She couldn't believe the former best friend was there and all that. I guess in the back of my mind, I expected it. So, I just didn't worry about it.
Add one more bite to the count even though I had tucked my damn legs under my damn butt and closed the whole area off with my ankle-length skirt. I'm telling you, a mosquitoe will die before he gives up the chance to get a taste of my blood.
My aunt who treated me like Cinderella pre-the-handsome-prince when I was a little girl needed a refrigerator. We're raising money to go on a trip to Texas next year as a family. The immediate family anyways. There's 18 of us to go. We had a dinner sale on Saturday. By the end of the day, we had almost $500 in money raised so far. My aunt happened to call while we were going over the finances.
She didn't ask anybody for the money. Just called to let them know they were being used as references so they should expect a phone call from the Rent-to-Own center. I know, as well as everybody else, that she can't afford another bill, much less the ones she already has.
My uncle, a deacon, tried to impress upon us that we should take some of the money we raised and buy my aunt the fridge. He kept saying "sow a seed" and watch how the money would come back to us more than we could have ever expected. The notion was basically shot down.
Last week, I had heard the young white preacher from the Lakewood Church in Texas that they show on BET on Sunday evenings. I listen to him 'cause I just really believe what he says because I see it happening. Last week, he was talking about planting seeds in Faith and seeing the financial blessings that would come back. Hearing my uncle say basically the same words was confirmation for me. Anytime something I hear regarding God and Faith is confirmed, I take that as God speaking directly to me.
And I know it to be true because even though I give just to give, I always receive and I believe that it is the Lord giving to me because he knows that I give freely.
My mother was in the kitchen quietly working while everybody else discussed what we need to do with the money and this and that. I sat quietly and watched as they went on and on, drowning out what my uncle continually tried to say. It hit me. I was gonna get her the refridgerator.
No matter how she treated me, she was still my aunt. If I were in a similar situation and someone had the means to do it for me, I would hope they would. I went to tell my mother and before I could say anything, she was saying that she was gonna get it. I really love and admire that woman. She's not rich by any means financially but the wealth in her spirit can't be measured. And she passes that on to me little by little with every action that she takes.
It just kinda threw me to watch the two of my aunts who are always asking for a handout, sit back and deny someone who really needed something, assistance that they should have jumped to give.
It just showed me why some people are stuck in the situations they are in.