2003-08-13 - 11:26 a.m.

Nothing really going on so I have to tell this story...

I'm up in Publix and Blockbuster at least once a week on either Sunday or Monday to buy stuff to take to the kids that I go see on Tuesdays. Okay.

I go to the same Publix and the same Blockbuster. Sometimes, I'm alone. Sometimes, I bring my mother.

Apparently, people have some fixed schedules over at Blockbuster and Publix in my neighborhood. I swear, them negros must work 70-hour work weeks 'cause they always there! Even if I try and drop in on a different day at a different time, I still get caught.

What do I mean by caught? I'll say this about the Blockbuster Boys: They remember my first and last name. Mind you, I'm not there everyday. I'm not even there twice a week most weeks. Like I said, once a week to pick up a video. But the niggas know my damn name! Even if I'm wit my momma, they flirtin'. Maybe they think they'll get points for me bein' wit my momma. Ummm, no.

Onto the Publix Predators... There are only two that I can remember right now. One used to be a stock-guy, now he's moved up to cashier. Grown-ass man. Yeah, I'm a woman at 22. But I still consider myself to be kinda young. This man looks to be at least 40. I'm into older men but only to a certain extent. They gotta at least look young. I ain't tryna be hanging out with my daddy.

I love music. Music is my damn life. So, I'm walking down the aisle (with my mother!), looking for my Apples & Cinnamon Publix brand oatmeal. I'm singing a little something by Luther Vandross. I'm not belting out a tune! I'm right above a hum. This man decides he wants to join in. So, he starts wailing out the song but it's so different to my ears and those of my mother that it is unrecognizable. But he really must have believed that he was casting a spell on me. Needless to say, we quickly moved to the next aisle (where we could still hear him...).

Ever since that day, if this man SEES me, he starts to sing a song. I don't have to be in his line for him to check me out. I can be in the next lane. He sees me? He starts singing.

I told my mother about it but she said I was probably exaggerating...

So, Monday, she and I are in Publix. The store is extremely busy so we're searching for the shortest checkout line. As usual, I hesitated two seconds too long so we got cut out of the line we were headed for. We came to a lane but my mother believed that the next one would be faster.

We start to move to that lane until I see who is behind the register. I saw ya boy and quickly tried to steer the cart back to the lane we were in. My mother, being the cut-up that she is, proceeds to pull the cart in her direction towards the other lane. So, we're two women in business attire (me, with stockings and my Old Navy sandals), each pulling the cart in a different direction.

Damn those sandals! My momma be tryin' to act all weak and stuff but when she want to, she'll yank a female, okay! She pulled that cart so that my feet just slid across the floor until she, me and the cart were in the lane she wanted to be in.

Once we were settled in the lane, I explain to her who we're about to see. She tells me that he won't bother me. I told her just wait.

We make it up to the register and I avoid ALL EYE CONTACT. Out of the corner of my eye, I see him staring at me. My hair is completely different from what it used to be so it probably took a few seconds for it to register to him.

All of a sudden, this negro breaks out into a song. What song? I don't even know. All I know is that I turned my back to the whole situation because I didn't want to laugh in the man's face. Do you know, I look to the right of me and there is my mother, cracking the hell up?! Yeah, that's how she do me.

Like Jay said, "Where's the love?" Not in the heart of Publix, I know that much.

Seeing that I wasn't paying him much attention, ya boy got louder. And louder. At that point, I became embarassed and began to walk towards the exit. I guess he figured before he let me go away, he would put his all into it. Ya boy started doing riffs and everything! Oh my goodness! I took the cart and got the hell out the store with my mother close on my heels. She ain't no good! Laughin' at me like that.

We agreed that, next time, we'll avoid his line even if we have to wait in another one for 15 minutes longer. I will not allow myself to be put through that again.

I don't know what it is about the men in Miami. They do not forget a damn face! Even if you want them to! And they all feel that they are too sexy, even if they're not. Is it like that everywhere?! (Yeah, I'm naive.) I mean, I have been followed (and yes, even with my mother in tow!), accosted, everything you can imagine. I'm never looking like I'm soliciting something - most times I'm in work clothes or jeans or yoga pants with a t-shirt. I mean, damn. What do I have to do to stop being harassed! I refuse to dress like I'm a dude. That just ain't me. And I don't feel I should have to walk around the streets looking like I just woke the hell up. But damn! This is starting to get really aggravating...

In other news, I developed some pictures last night. I'm not much of a picture taker but I used up a whole roll. Tha Guhlz (did I introduce them yet? Maybe later.) are STRAIGHT CRAZY! Crazy ain't a good enough word to describe them females. For real. But I can honestly say I didn't know you could have so much fun with other people. I mean, to be four grown women... It's insane, is what it is. I think I'm going to invest in a real camera instead of that photo express one from Eckerd's...

I got my pic of Kanye... Hmmm... LOL! Just that whole night. I'll just use that picture to remind me of that entire afternoon/evening - from sitting in the car with Miss Pooh waiting on my best friend to my friend's baby daddy giving me the VIP treatment to that garlic butter to phony-ass Steve to that half-gallon Long Island Iced Tea to half of my alma mater coming thru that piece to the "Taj Mahal" comment made by Miss Pooh... Yeah, that one picture will always remind me of all of that.

antes - despues