Good Times.
2003-08-11 - 12:26 p.m.
I had a good trip. I enjoyed the company and what I went on the trip for. Everything worked out, we got there safely and got home safely. So, I'm happy. Don't know where we'll end up the next time but hopefully, it'll be somewhere out of state.
I'm alone again. I go in and out of these freakin' bouts of aloneness. It's not loneliness this time. It's just a big fat realization that I am single. When I'm lonely, it's because I crave the touch, the wordless parts of having someone. When I'm alone, I'm craving the interaction, the conversation more than anything. I'm not interested in the possibilities of a relationship. It's more of a business thing...? LOL. I don't even know my damn self.
"I ain't even never really hardly ever" understood it. (I coined the quoted phrase over the weekend.) It's probably just a want to learn from someone of the opposite sex and to share what I know with them. The problem is that every guy (okay, not every - most though) I meet cannot understand that I'm not looking for a relationship. I am looking for a friendship. I'm not into the possibility of what could develop. I'm looking for some conversation today. I guess people are too busy these days to give time to developing friendships.
I don't know if it's the turkey sandwich I had for breakfast or vomit that I'm tasting in the back of my throat right now... (Yeah, ugh!, but it's my damn diary.)
I am a freaking college graduate! I forget sometimes...LOL.
The coffee I had to drink to wake me up is really wreaking havoc on my damn system right now.
And yeah, I know I said something about structure in an earlier post but I've never been structured and I really don't feel like putting in much of an effort to be structured at this point in my life so, random it is! Yay for organized chaos! LOL.
Raphael Saadiq, "Say My Name". I loves it. Why? I really don't know. I'm probably relating to it in a roundabout way because I can't directly identify with it. "You keep your twenty-two dollars or you'll be worse than you came."
Playa, "Cheers 2 U". It's the "Oh". I feel the release everytime. "Oh"...."Oh"...."Oh". To me, it signifies her agreement to his request.
And I was so hurt when I found out Gregory Hines died. It was just a shock, ya know? For some reason, I never saw him getting old. It just seemed like he wasn't supposed to grow old to me. I remember watching him as a girl. He was the hottest thing out...
But that's how cancer is. That's how life is, period. When it's time to go, it's time to go.
"You just call out my name and you know wherever I am, I'll come running just to see you again. Winter, spring, summer or fall, all you have to do is call. And I'll be there, yeah. You've got a friend."