2003-08-06 - 9:18 a.m.

I was sitting at the drive-thru ATM. Everything about me was as it is today. But the ATM Center (as it was) was a little futuristic. Not too far. Maybe 2020 or something like that.

My feet felt like they were on the actual pavement even though I was sitting in my car. The driver's side was the passenger's side.

I had my ATM card in my hand like I always do. I put it in the machine. It was taking so long to process. In the meantime, I was getting all tied up with my oversized red wallet. I couldn't hold it in my hands. It was almost like my wallet was trying to escape from my damn hands.

As I'm struggling with my wallet and waiting on the ATM machine, I see legs approaching me. The top half of his body was covered by the hanging ATM machines. He had on gray sweats - yoga pants, which, even in my dream, I felt was a little weird for him to have on. They were greasy.

He was holding a cup of coffee. He came up to the front of the car, which had by now disappeared. So, basically, we were face to face. I immediately started yelling once he came to a stop. I could see his eyes focusing on my wallet, which I couldn't really get a grip on. I looked for something to hit him with but realized that it was too far away for me to get to before he got to me.

So, I woke myself up. I had done kicked the covers off me (something I rarely do in my sleep). My legs were sweating. I woke up wide awake. At first, I prayed so hard for the Lord to protect his children. Then, I laughed at the fact that getting robbed was literally a nightmare for me.

It took me a minute but I went back to sleep.

I was on a motorcycle - more specifically a blue/red/white moped. I was sitting at a stop light. I saw my friend's mother and brother were in the car behind me. As I'm preparing to wave to them, I see Broken Promises (f.k.a. J) approaching in his car from the opposite direction. I stare him down from my bike but he doesn't see me. So, I pull off to the side of the road and wave to my girl's fam. Then, I turn around to call BP.

He gets out of his car and is talking on his cell phone as he proceeds to be approached by everybody riding/walking down the street because they know who his brother is. He has lost some weight, maybe 30lbs. When a break finally occurs, I call his name. He doesn't hear me the first time because he's still on the phone and there's a lot of traffic on the street. So, I call his name a second time.

He hears me and acknowledges my presence. He seems shocked that it's actually me on a bike. I knew I had told him earlier on that I had a bike. He had never believed me. He doesn't make an immediate move to come to my side of the street. At first, I'm hurt by that. Then it looks like he's gonna take a step but somebody calls him back.

I fall on the floor. I don't know if it's because I wanted him to come rescue me or because I was just being dramatic because I was upset. To cover up whatever the reason was, I hold on to my knee as if I was hurt.

A group of guys appear around me but they won't come to my aid. I look back across the street and BP is surrounded. I look at the edge of the circle of people around him and I see this dude W who worked at my school and who I thought I had a lil' crush on. He looks like BP, that's probably why.

He sees me on the floor and he knows my game so he smiles at me, in a way telling me that what I'm doing is not going to give me the results I'm hoping for.

By now, I know I need to give up the whole act. So, I attempt to stand up. But I can't. I'm stuck. I'm looking around for some discreet assistance and I see this dude Shad. I call him over and a girl is with him. I tell him I need his help getting up but she wants to help too, which I don't appreciate because it's having the effect of looking like I can't get up on my own, which I was trying to avoid in the first place.

I reach up for his hand and...

I wake up - 26 minutes before my alarm is set to go off. But I didn't even attempt to go back to sleep. I just lay there, laughing at what had happened in those two vivid dreams.

Now that I think about it, the majority of my dreams were in black and white. There were just specific objects that had color.

I haven't had a nightmare in a few months. When I was younger, I would have full-fledged nightmares - mushroom monsters, vampires who made blood pour down the walls from the ceiling... Lately, my nightmares have been things that seem to be happening in real-life. Maybe that's why they're so terrifying.

Other than that, I was lonely last night. Probably because I was sick and wanted some attention. I'm over it now - the loneliness anyway. I'm still sick.

I went to urge my mother to watch QE4TSG. I was sitting there, laughing my head off. In my fit of glee, I fell out on the bed and hit the top of the right side of my jaw on her kneecap, which was hidden in the comforter. All I remember is her cracking up. She ain't laugh at nothin' on the show, but she gon' laugh at the face she said I made when I hit my jaw.

According to her, my face glazed over and my eyes just bugged out. I slid to the floor in pain.

Now, I'm laughing at my swollen jaw.

I guess that was payback for me holding her hostage last week. I let her go. I don't know why she's still harboring anger about it...

And I just love the fact that I used to sing songs, not knowing the words at all. There was this one alternative song I used to love to watch the video for. "Zombie". I had no clue until last night that the lady was saying, "In your head...Zombie". I was back there singing, "Enya hey...zaa hey", thinking I'm so special 'cause I'm singing in the language that the song was in. And I used to sing (I can't remember the name of the song), "Every time you go away...you take a piece of meat with you." My mother would ALWAYS get a kick out of that.

Alright. I'ma holla.

antes - despues