2003-04-03 - 11:11 p.m.

Lawd, I'm tiyahd (that's tired for those looking perplexed right now...)!!! We just put on a play and I'm completely pooped - yet, I'm sittin up here typin away. Not in the lab, mind you, so it ain't so bad.

Everytime I mention something, the something appears. Everytime. Tonight, I was talking to a friend of mine, letting her know that I'm not looking anymore in case she didn't get the memo. I said, "After this latest disappointment, I'm through." Latest disappointment was this dude I met in the parking lot of the club. LOL. I said I ain't wanna meet nobody at a club, so he's what came along. The parking lot is across the street from the club.

Anyway, dude is educated (important criteria), ghetto (compatibility factor), seemed sincere enough...funny, I like the way he thinks. So, even though I didn't want to, I allowed myself to become interested. Hmmmm... I hate doing that because (let's say it one more time) I hate being disappointed.

So, he would call. I'm not the calling type. He called me one day and told me he was coming to visit. Yes, he called me back and told me he wasn't going to be able to make it (which I understood because when I spoke to him previously, he had explained the situation he was in that day). Nevertheless, I was disappointed that he wasn't going to come. So, I called him back and left a message that I wanted to talk to him. He did not call me back. That was a Sunday night.

I waited till Thursday. That's when I was calling him to give him a piece of my mind and cut the thing off period. I don't like prolonging certain things. I'd rather just get them done and over with.

So, I call him. I give him the piece of my mind. He tells me that he never got the message and had been waiting for my call. I ask him when was he planning on calling, if at all, since I hadn't heard from him for that period of time. This nigga tells me he was gonna call me more than a week later when he returned from a trip he was going on which I didn't even know he was going on. Furthermore, the trip was to maybe find someplace else to live other than Miami. Possibly Atlanta.

Okay, why am I sitting here finally allowing myself to become interested in somebody else who could possibly be moving to another damn state? Me no understand. And I told him that. I don't even want to get into the discussion we had over that. Not right now, anyways.

The end of our conversation saw him telling me that he would call while he was away since he realized that a call was very important to me. I told him that wasn't necessary because I don't want to receive a phone call because someone feels like they have to do it. I don't want it if it's not something that's done voluntarily. I also hung up the phone knowing that I would begin the process of making myself forget about him.

Well, it's a week later. He calls. I answer. We talk. I'm still disappointed but I'm still interested. So, who the hell knows what's going to happen? I get this feeling about this situation though. I don't know exactly what the feeling is. But I do know that something is there.

Anyway, felt like getting this off my chest so, it's off. I'm just gonna take it as it comes from here on out. No thoughts about it.

By the way, my middle/high school crush of 7 years contacted my best friend of 7 years to establish something that he wanted to establish with her 7 years ago. I'm not jealous at all. Curious, but not at all jealous. That's an accomplishment for me. LOL.

Well my damn diary, I'ma holla. A female gotta get some sleep.

antes - despues