Can we...Can we figure it out?
2003-03-26 - 11:49 p.m.
Whoo don't I feel like a fool! LOL.
Once again, in an attempt to escape a "situation", I've found myself deeper into it than I thought I could be. Remember that "familiar" friend I was trying to hook up another friend with? Well, that whole thing ain't gon' happen no time soon. Let me give some vague background info:
*Dude is a model - a professional model. No lie. Educated. Okay. Lovely personality and nice lil sense of humor.
*She is a model as well. Educated. Spunky (maybe I should say "Spicy" because it does have a strong kick to it) personality. She drives me crazy but that's my dawg.
*I'm me. Not a model type. Just me. Educated. I like to think I have an amenable personality and I enjoy sarcastic humor.
So here's the issue:
I'm forcing myself to think that me and Dude would never match because of the physicality, even though he has done nothing but show a serious attraction to me. I was using him as an ego booster. That's what I did. Whether it was wrong or right - that's what I did.
I'm making myself believe that they would be the best match because of the whole model thing. After talking to him about her, I feel bad about thinking that way.
I always say that I want someone who is attracted to me because I'm me. Then, when I get that, I'm ready to pass it off as an "opportune situation". That's my avoidance technique. Usually works everytime. This time, there's something wrong with my damn system. LOL.
But I don't have a problem with avoidance. It's easy for me. It gets problematic when it doesn't work and I start to get caught up. That's when I start to get uncomfortable.
But at least he won't be a constant because he's doing a lot of travelling for the next few months. So that'll make it easier... It's a shame the way I think sometimes. But anyway.
And again, I'm in the damn lab. LOL!!! This reminds me of sophomore year when I spent at least 5 hours a day in the lab...
Whatever. Back to work. Gotta stop foolin' around in here! LOL.
I'll write in my damn diary again sometime soon.
:P
Edit: I just have to relay this story from a few years back that ran through my mind...I don't ever want to forget it so I'm putting it in here.
Me and my friends had gone to this awards show that we received free tickets for. Awards were to be given out to people like DMX, Goodie Mob, etc... So, we dressed up and headed out. It was about 8 of us. We rode in two separate cars. We get there and we see one of the guys from Boyz II Men. Okay. So we figure it must be somewhat legit. Shoulda realized something wasn't right by the fact that he was chillin' right alongside us...
Mind you, we're about 30 minutes late. So, we're figuring that we won't get seats, etc., etc. We get up to the arena and notice that nobody is outside. We're thinking it started already. Much to our suprise, we find that we're some of the first and only ones there. In total, about 50 people attended. The arena holds a few thousand.
Come to find out, we're at an adult awards show. So yeah, they have awards for DMX and Goodie Mob (maybe another day I'll explain the story involving them and my innocent friend) but most of the awards were for porno stars. Realizing the situation, we decide to leave and go back to campus for a party being held that night. The fact that we were the first row and the show was being taped did not help us get out of there at all. LOL. We finally did get out though.
On the way back to campus, I'm riding in the car behind my first group of friends. I notice smoke coming from her right back tire area. Luckily, the day before, I had experienced a similar problem in my mother's car so I knew that it was just the brake and nothing really serious. So, we maneuvered in this heavy traffic so that we got to the left of my friend's car. We were in the middle lane, she was in the right lane.
I rolled down my window and calmly told her, "Nat, there's smoke coming from around your back tire. It's noth..." Before I could finish, homegirl had put the car in park and her and the three people with her were out of the car and running from it like it was about to blow the hell up! Please keep in mind that we were on one of the busiest roads down south in bumper to bumper traffic. We were yelling at them from our car to get back in their car and calm down so that they could just pull it over at the gas station around the corner. They could barely hear us because they were basically down the street. We had to pull over in front of her car and I had to actually get out of the car I was in to go sit in her car to make her believe I was telling the truth that everything was okay. Finally, she got back in and both cars rode to the gas station where we all basically broke down and laughed so hard we were crying.
Times like that, I loved my college experience and the friends I've made here...