Blah, Blah, BLAH.
2002-07-22 - 1:22 p.m.
I'm going out of town this weekend. Only up to Tallahassee but that's a huge step for me. I haven't been away from Miami since February and that was only to Gainesville. I don't go away too often although I wish I could. I can't afford to travel like I've always dreamed. One day I will. A VERY successful man told me the other day, "It's going to happen sooner than you think." I believe that. I'm going to Connecticut, New York and maybe even Boston in a couple of weeks. I'm excited about the trip. The only places I've been are Ontario, Canada, about two small cities in Georgia for family reunions, and Dallas, Texas to visit my biological father when I was very young. So, all of this traveling is going to have to hold me over for a while.
The Sunday School Lesson yesterday at my church focused on Forgiveness. It made me think, ya know? There are people who I pass by everyday without speaking to because they did something to me that I did not appreciate. Even though we used to speak and be close in the past, I will walk by them as if I never knew they existed. I feel bad when I do it but now, I feel even worse because I realize that I have not forgiven them for whatever it was they did to me. It causes me greater stress to pretend to ignore them than it does to just simply smile and say hi. That's something for me to work on and I plan to change. I know I would want forgiveness if I had done something to someone, especially if I had gone and asked them for their forgiveness. So, I guess it's best for me to treat my neighbor as I would want to be treated.
I feel so BLAH. I'm used to constant excitement and movement and work when I'm in school. I don't know HOW to relax now that I'm out. I have two friends who rushed through school and tried to get me to do the same. I told them I was taking my time. Now, they go to work, come home and either talk on the phone or watch television all night. That is not me and that is not what I enjoy doing. I like busy-ness because it gives me an excuse to not think about things that have the potential to depress me. I'm busy enough for now but, honestly, I can't wait to be back in school. (Check back in two months for the "I Can't Wait To Be Out Of School!" entry.)
Damn, I was depressed last summer. I'm just thinking about some of the isht I was going through. Little things can become big things when there are a lot of them bringing you down. I'm glad I'm not in that state of mind this summer. I had a couple of moments but nothing where I believed I was absolutely going to go crazy like last summer. Thank God.
If anybody can tell me where Musiq got that "and I want you to want me too" on track 12, I would greatly appreciate it. The song is on the tip of my mind but I just can't remember it! So, help a sista out.
Until next time...
** "Children hold on to your dreams..." **