The Big Picture
2002-07-21 - 6:34 p.m.
Wussup Diary?
Damn, I ain't been over here in a minute. Where do the days go? Things have just been really regular the last couple of weeks. Nothing too exciting has happened in my life.
I met an excellent weight loss partner (through Diaryland I might add - You Go Mac!) so the diet hasn't been too hard on me. I've lost over 5 pounds and my waist is joyfully shrinking while my excitement about being the weight I want to be is slowly increasing.
I've decided that He needs to be out of my life. Period. When it gets to the point where I ask myself, "Why did I even call Him?", I know it's time to completely and absolutely move on from him. That's one thing I really don't like about myself though: When someone gets a piece of my heart, it is hard for me to let them go. It's hard for me to just say, "That negativity will not be a part of my life." I have to get to the point where I'm just disgusted with the situation and with myself for dealing with the situation for so long before I really get out of the situation. But at least I get to that point because I know that some people will never allow themselves to.
I'm still working on taking compliments without refusing them.
** My mother, with her beautiful voice, is in the other room singing: "Something good is going to happen to you...Good is going to happen." She doesn't know how much I needed to hear that just now. Always right when I need it... **
I'm ready to get my last year of school over and done with. This year, I'll have a lot of responsibilities and a lot of weight to carry as far as coursework but I'm not worried. For some reason, I know that this is going to be my superwoman year. Everything is already taken care of. I just have to go through the motions and enjoy my experiences.
I recently realized that I am a very unique individual. Not in a conceited way. Just in the way I look at life and things. Example: In a restaurant with five other girls, I looked up and saw the wonderful ceiling with the vibrant colors and intricate designs. When I encouraged them to look up (not at the ceiling because I hadn't spoken what I saw yet), they all saw the plain white ceiling fan - the plain white ceiling fan that my eyes had missed in its entirety.
God is Good.