Rambling.
2002-06-09 - 9:37 p.m.
"After all the things you said to me
Now you wanna get up and leave?"
Brandy is my girl this year, for real. Alot of people may not support this latest album but I surely do. I've experiend every one of those emotions and situations so far this year. It just feels good to know that you aren't the only one.
I finally made it to my Sunday School. Sistah Sarah (Say-Ra! is how my momma likes to say it) said a word today. She said "The good thing about a trial or tribulation is that, once you begin, you're closer to the end than when you first started." I loved to hear that. I truly did. That's why I miss Sunday School cause I know I'm missing something that she said that would have lifted me up when I needed it most.
"La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la..." Musiq, "HalfCrazy" (I love to hear and even think about this melody. For some reason, it makes me want to close my eyes. Helps me forget for a second.)
Finished E. Dickey's "Between Lovers". Didn't appreciate the ending. My opinion.
I'm going to start walking this week. Everyday is my goal. At least a mile. I don't do ANY exercise now and my body is not agreeing with this inactivity. I want to feel good this summer in as many ways as possible so, whatever I gots ta do to feel that way, I will.
I don't know why I waste time placing restrictions on myself. I always break them...
When I'm going through something, I think about him. (Yes, "He" aka "Him" is back in conversation.) Watched the fight last night and had to drop my phone when I realized that I had snatched it up to call him and talk about how bad Tyson got beat even though Lewis was acting like a scared lil' boy. I'm wantin' to send him a note about this listening party on Tuesday. It's the stress that makes me think about him. It's the down that brings him up in my mind.
I feel like Puffy. I want him still no matter what. Even though I think I shouldn't (meaning, my common sense is saying that I need to completely forget his existence), my heart is singing a song of its own - VERY LOUDLY I might add. The words make no sense and the tune is off. But it's making itself heard.
Tonight, I'll allow myself to remember the good times. I'll fantasize about the good ways he made me feel. Then, when I finish, I'll pray that God helps me to move on. Really, what else can I do?
G'Nite Diary.