Ms. Stress
2003-02-25 - 11:04 p.m.
I'm mad at Diaryland about that "servers down except for gold members" message. I mean, excuse me for being a cheap (notice I didn't say poor - name it, claim it) college student!
Currently: Fighting the urge to call the holder of my stress-reliever and attempting to put together a real budget for this organization.
I'm being the worst student I've ever been this week. Failing tests, not even showing up for presentations...
Went to the doctor today. Told me I have Graves Disease. Start taking medication on Thursday. Once a day for 365 days. Have to get blood drawn once a month. Don't get pregnant 'cause the medication causes defects in babies... Wouldna been a concern of mine a lil while ago. Lately, it's something to think about...
Can I just get 5 days of sleep right now? That's all I want. I've been skipping out on work for the past two days already. I'll probably call in tomorrow too. I just don't feel like being anybody for a little while. I want to hibernate like a bear. For real.
My eyes hurt.
Does anybody know when the new season of Making the Band is supposed to start? What's Mysterious up to? Hit me up. [email protected] . I'm nosy like that but I'm too lazy to look it up.
Hyperthyroidism = Decreased Concentration...Yay! An excuse.
Okay, this is my diary. Yeah. This is my diary. My space for my thoughts. Okay. This is MY diary. I miss J. And a lot. But I think it's only because I'm getting relationship ish from different places but my heart is not in any of it. My heart doesn't want it from any of those people. It wants it from one person. And he won't give it to me. He refuses to let me have him. He has someone. But I know that if I were to call him now, he'd answer my call.
I didn't know he had somebody when I called him at the beginning of January. He didn't even mention it. We spoke as if it were regular times between us. I just keep trying to make myself believe that the feelings were only there on my part but I know that they weren't. I just know. It's not that I just know. I know. Damn, why do I miss him? Why is this nigga even in my mind? Why is he even taking up some of the few brain cells that I have left that are still functioning correctly? I feel like a fool. Not a fool in love! Cause I don't like love. Love ain't been too kind to me. I don't really give a damn about no damn love. But I do. We all do. What's the damn point?!
I play Russian Roulette, put this phone to my ear just to say, just to say...this is Me.
Instead I saw protection through judgement now angels and devils look alike to me. And sometimes, quiet sounds like lonely to me.