"You take me away......"
2003-09-11 - 2:15 p.m.
It's already been two years. Already. Wow. That day, I couldn't think about a tomorrow. I couldn't even think about a yesterday. Yet and still, TWO YEARS have already passed. Time stops for, waits for, loves no one. Time only has one responsibility: to move on. And I refuse to let time fulfill its responsibility one more second without expressing my thankfulness that I am here on this earth.
I'm so happy with my life right now. As I told one of Tha Guhlz, I have EVERYTHING I NEED right now. Wants are not being taken into consideration right now. I have everything I need. And because I have everything I need, I know I will be able to get the things I want in time, so they are not a source of worry for me right now.
And I'm thankful for everything I have. And not just because today is today. (I was already thinking this on Tuesday, forgetting that I was even in the month of September.) I'm just happy with life right now. I can't remember a period in my life where I was happier. And that's just how the past few years have been. I just get happier and happier as time passes.
And it's all because of my relationship with God. I wish I could thoroughly explain it but I can't. It's there and that's what matters. And that's what I'm thankful for.
I try to write down a list of things I'm thankful for... I can't write them down because it's basically everything. LOL. Yeah, even the sad things. I can't help but find something to be thankful for in it all.
And that's one of the things I'm most thankful for: Optimism. Being able to see the bright side. Being able to endure whatever, believing that the sun will soon show me its beautiful face. Knowing that no matter what happens, joy comes in the morning and everything will be alright. I could be going through today, but upon waking up tomorrow, I'll feel brand new because if it ain't kill me, it really wasn't that big a deal to begin with.
And I completely live by that rule. I believe it with all my heart. Even though I lament over certain things...mainly being "lonely" (which, now that I think about it, I can't believe I spend that much time thinking about it! I can't believe I allow it to consume me at times. But again, it's what humans search for their entire lives, so I guess it's understandable that it's a concern of mine...), I'm still happy to be here. I'm still happy to wake up each day.
And that's more than enough to be thankful for. I have control of my mind, my health is improving (if not for these doggon' nuclear-waste-fed mosquitoes, I'd be in tip-top shape! LOL. But even they serve a purpose, else they wouldn't be here.), even though I sometimes take it for granted, I graduated from damn-college, no kids, never been arrested... There are just too many things to be thankful for. And that alone makes me happy.
Happiness... That was a foreign word to me about 5 years ago. I couldn't understand how people could be happy. I just couldn't understand it. Now I do. Now it's not even a question in my mind. Whooo! I tell ya! If you could only hear me shoutin' right now! What a feeling! Damn, what a feeling!
I pray for strength for those affected in any way by 9/11.