I Want To Be There.
2002-08-27 - 8:02 p.m.
I wrote this a looooong time ago. I'm not even thinking about finding anybody too much anymore. It's just weird to see how I was thinking during that period.
Raphael doesn�t understand that I want to be there. Not necessarily for him but for the man who is for me. I want to be there when he wakes up in the morning. I want to be there when he opens his eyes in the morning. I want to be the first thing he sees, if not the first thing he thinks of when he regains consciousness. I want to be the first thing he touches, smells, tastes, hears, speaks to. I want to be there. When he�s standing at the stove making breakfast, I want to be sitting at the table watching him. I want to watch him make eggs and toast and bacon and pour orange juice. I want to be there. I want to be there when he takes his shower, while he�s getting dressed for work. I want to be right there. I want to be there when he�s walking out the door. I want to watch him get in his car and go off to make that paper to bring home. I want to be standing right there. I want to be there when he comes home from work. From the night job he works so hard at. I want to welcome him home. I want to be there to put some energy back into his weary frame. I want to be there to see that he�s doing what he does for our benefit. I want to know that he works that hard because he cares that much. I want to be there so that I can know that for sure. I want to see it with my own eyes. I want to be there.