Waitin'
2001-08-19 - 5:10 p.m.
My horoscope for today is:
Capricorn (Dec22-Jan20)
The more you hide from yourself the more psychological barriers you'll build be true to you. Stop trying to control your destiny and just go with the flow and you won't look back. Good fortune is waiting to surge towards you, but you doing everything in your subconscious power to block it. Perhaps it's because you've always seen life as a struggle? Just the opposite is true. Sit back and enjoy the ride.
I can honestly say that this one is completely on point! I could not agree more.
I�ve been sitting here allllll day, thinking about a very hurtful and unfortunate something that happened to me last night, as well as some other issues that the event brought to the surface. Thinking about things more than I should is my forte. I always make them out to seem bigger than they are so, until the Lord shows me why it happened (which is usually the next day), I get depressed.
I don�t have mood swings. Mood swings, in my opinion, affect the way you treat other people. I don�t change the way I treat people. My depressions (because the occurrences happen so often) affect only me. I wish I could stop them because it is so stressful, going in and out of these episodes. But it�s a part of life for me that goes back for generations and generations.
Anyway, back to my horoscope.
I get so afraid because I can�t see what the future holds for me. I don�t know what to expect. It�s so scary because I can�t even think of what I�ll be doing in the future. It seems as if everybody around me knows where they will end up and, more importantly, where they want to end up in life. Me, on the other hand, I have NO CLUE as to what I want or where I�ll be. None. I feel like I�m walking through life as a zombie. Going wherever the hell the wind takes me.
I want to know. I want to see. I want to have some direction. These things have always been a problem for me. They�re the few things I actually want in life that never seem to find me. That�s why I say my horoscope is so accurate today. It�s telling me what I need to hear: �Stop searching for your destiny. It�s already been put into place. You just have to settle down and receive it when it comes your way.�
But it�s so hard to wait for something that you�ve wanted all your life and have yet to get.
Peace Ya'll...